Contemplative Moment...

Do you ever have those days where you're just uncomfortable in your own skin? I feel like I've been going through one of those trials lately where the outside trial isn't really the trial. It's the cursor that's breaking down the inside to the real problem. It feels like there is a war of epic proportions going on on the inside, but there is a calm, collected front on the outside. I'm the type of person who tries to grin and bear it and not show that I'm having a hard time. I always try to be the optimist and find the silver lining bc I can't stand being around Debbie Downers who think the world is always against them, and always find something to complain about. This doesn't necessarily prove to be a good thing though bc then I tend to have break down moments where I feel like I just can't do it anymore. Is this a lack of faith on my part? Is it wrong to want to be able to glimpse into the future and know it's going to be ok? Am I the only one who feels this way?

I always feel like my "problems" are so trivial and that there are people who have way harder things going on in their lives. I have a great support system of friends and family, I have my health, I have a great calling that is difficult but is teaching me so much, and I have the knowledge of the gospel. So why do I feel like I just want to give up sometimes?

Remember When...

Remember when I used to post weekly? Remember when I had so many fun things to say and crazy pictures to show? When did I get so old and boring?? Somehow I've allowed myself to be a boring grown up and I've stopped documenting my life. Well, this isn't going to be the big exciting post you were all hoping for, and I swear I'll do another one this week with pictures, but I thought I'd at least send out an update on what's been going on in my life. May has been a busy month!

1. My nephew was blessed in Idaho at the beginning of the month, Gibson Ralph Brandley, and he is adorable. I'm so in love with him! He's also over 1 month old now. Talk about being behind the times here! Also, Jonas is a little boy now and he cracks me up! The kid is a ham and can keep us all entertained for hours!

2. I had 2 weddings on back to back weekends in May, both of which are posted on my Sassy Stems link. The first one was smaller and quite simple, and the second one had about 30 bouts and corsages, but I actually gave myself enough time to do it without being rushed. It's a miracle! It only took a year to get it right! I thought they both turned out well though. That makes 9 weddings and 1 baby shower in the year that I've had my business. Not too shabby, I think!

3. My best friend, Joni, is finally home from Law School and is getting married in August. I'm so excited she's back and now we get to do the planning from a much closer distance! She pretty much has everything under control, but I'm here for moral support. I'll be doing the flowers for her bridal shower too and I'm so excited!

4. I'm still talking/dating a guy in St George and things are going well. I saw him once in May because we both have such busy schedules and he works a ton, but it was soooo good to see him and we really like each other. He's a lot of fun, and a pretty amazing guy. We'll see what happens there. Baby steps, right?!

5. My family went to NY because my dad had business out there and Mom, Mark, and Michael jumped on the opportunity to go see Michael's mission. They had a total blast and I'm dying to go back with Mikey soon. They brought me back a whole bunch of presents, so I couldn't hold a grudge for being left behind. ;) Also, I travel the world without them all the time, so who am I to get bitter?!

6. My birthday is in 15 days and it's my dreaded "27". Not sure why but that's always been my dreaded number. Actually...I do know why, but I'll tell you later. The absolute only reason I'm counting down at all is because I'm going to San Francisco to see Wicked and just get out of town with my "bosom friend" Megan P. We haven't taken a trip with just the 2 of us yet, and she's never seen Wicked, so it's going to be a lot of fun. I'm sooo excited! It's pretty much the only thing getting me through my days lately.

7. Did I mention I'm moving? Don't worry, it's still in Vegas...in fact I'm moving back in the the 'rents. I know, I know, don't be jealous that I'm that cool. 27 and living at home? OooOOOh! I'm awesome. Actually, it took me a while to decide but it's really the smartest and best thing for me to do right now and I really don't even care that much about the stigma of living at home. I'm kind of proud of it now! I'll be spending some much needed time with my bros, keeping Mom company when Dad is out of town, and getting my life in order again. I just hate the moving process. Blech!

So, that's pretty much it. I won't bore you with the parts about how life gets so busy sometimes you just want to throw your hands in the air and say "I'm done!" I'm sure we all feel that way somtimes. The important part is that we take a breather, have a good cry, get back up, and keep pushing on. Life is a learning process and it's taking us somewhere great! We just need to buckle up, take the bad with the good, have a little faith, and see where the ride takes us.

I'm an Aunt!!!! ..again

I'm an aunt! I'm an aunt! I'm an aunt!

Matt and Renee had their new little guy at about 1:00 today. He's 9lbs 3oz and still doesn't have a name yet. Check out my new little nephew here! Any name suggestions?? They're thinking maybe Oliver or Remington (Rem)...

So, clearly I've been stalking everyone's blogs and I love the "airing" of all the laundry all of my mom friends are doing! I really, really want to participate, but I'm not a mom. Clearly I'm not perfect, so I guess I can air my single gal laundry. I was thinking about it and have any of you read "Can You Keep a Secret?" It's an absolutely hysterical book about a girl who spills all of her secrets to a complete stranger on a plane and ends up running into him later. Sooo funny!!

So, I was thinking that I can do a cross between the two things. Yay!! I'm so creative!

Ok, so here we go...

I have never, ever, ever been one of those girls who has ever planned out her wedding day. BUT I have to say that in the last year that I've been doing weddings I've started to think about it a little bit. Just a little though. Here's one thing I do know - I'm not having one! Take that! I really, really don't like them and I'd rather just get married, have flowers and pictures, and a family dinner. So there. Don't worry though - it doesn't mean I don't still LOVE doing other people's weddings. I do. :)

As some of you may know, I'm the RS pres in my singles ward. I really do enjoy my calling, and I love the girls in my ward so much. Seriously, they're amazing! BUT sometimes I just don't want to do it! How long have I been doing it? About 8 months. Yeah. Pathetic, I know.

I only wash my hair once a week. Sound gross? It's not! Curly hair is more dry and you're not supposed to strip your hair of it's natural oils anyway. Not gross. I still shower and rinse my hair every day, I just don't shampoo it.

I hate painting my toenails. I'd rather pay someone to do it.

I am a closet nerd. I love spreadsheets and books.

I watch people in the mall and try to figure out what's plastic and what's real.

I love snowboarding and longboarding, but it still scares the crap out of me to go really fast.

I always wonder when I'll actually get married. Not that I'm in any rush, but I sometimes wish I at least had a time frame or something so that I could plan accordingly. I guess that's where that whole faith thing comes in! Oh, and the thing where I don't have to plan everything.

I always wonder what people really think when they meet me.

I'm talking to a guy and I get temporary anxiety moments where I think he's bored with me, or annoyed and I wonder what he's really thinking and not saying. Then I remember...he's a guy...and he's at work. Guys are pretty simple creatures. They mean what they say and they usually say what they mean. Plus, he should probably focus just a little bit at work. Why are girls so irrational at times?? I totally confess to being an irrational girl at moments, even though my life's ambition is to be the "cool" girl who doesn't freak out and scare guys off. Unfortunately that's the one way pass to friend zone! Turns out men and women are wired differently for a reason. Who knew?? So, I'm being a girl these days and I'm kind of liking it. Whew!

Ok, well that's enough from me then. Enjoy my laundry/confessions/whatever. :) That does feel good.

Best Friends...

I've had a lot of really, really ridiculously good friends in my life. Seriously. I've been thinking a lot about my friends lately and how lucky/blessed I've been to have such good friends who have made me who I am. So, even though I'd absolutely looove to write a full out blog about each and every one of my friends - and I really could - I decided to reduce it to a few of my "best friends" that I've had throughout my whole life. Sometimes I hate the phrase "best friends" bc I feel like I could put a lot of my friends in that category, but just go with it!


Lindsay and I met on the monkey bars (I think) in the 1st Grade and was my best friend for pretty much my whole childhood. Crazy to think that even after all these years we still keep in touch and see each other from time to time. Lindsay is soooo much fun, can talk your ear off any day, has the cutest little family, and is the best mom ever! Sometimes I get really sad that she's all the way up in Canada, but I'm glad she's a really good blogger so I never lose track of what she's up to.


I know I look retarded in this picture, but I wanted the most recent one! Robyn and I met in the 9th grade and we were inseperable through high school (along with the rest of our "Six Babe Bandits! haha!), and remained best friends through college even though we were in seperate states. Robyn can make you laugh 'til you cry with her amazing stories! She married the coolest guy, who also cracks me up, and is expecting her first little one in a few weeks. I'm sooo excited to be an auntie to a little girl! Robyn is one of the most compassionate people I know and can literally make friends with anyone!

Again...not a great picture, but the most recent one of Joni and I. It really wouldn't matter anyway, bc we have never in our entire friendship taken a "normal" picture together, as we discovered when we were trying to pick one for her wedding website! So, although Joni was one of the first friends I made in Las Vegas, and we were friends all through high school, we didn't reach "best friends" status until we both graduated from college and moved back home. Joni is one of the smartest and most determined people in the world! She always knows just what to say and when to do some crazy dance move to make you laugh! She's about to marry an amazing guy and start their new law lives here in Las Vegas. I'm soooo excited for her to be living close to me again!

Alright, I'm just realizing that I don't take the best pictures. Oh well! So, clearly this is my madre. I'd have to say we met before birth, and she was my best friend even through all the other friends. We've definitely had our moments through all of my snotty teenage years, and she deserves a medal for putting up with my independant nature my whole life. She (and my dad) have been my biggest fans, my greatest support, and the most giving and sacrificing people in my life. My mom and I have a special relationship and I'm very grateful that she's always been there.

Look What I Found!

Sorry Dad, but I had to. So...what usually happens is that at the last minute my mom, dad, brothers, roommates, etc. will swoop in and help me with the picture taking/loading/delivering of my flowers for whatever wedding I'm doing that weekend.

Well, for the last wedding I did they came over and took pictures for me. I didn't see them until I finally sat down the other night and this is what I found.

Do you think I should hire him for all my shoots?

**Also - I just posted this wedding on my Sassy Stems page so go check it out!

What is Wrong With Me??

Ok, wait! Don't everyone answer all at once!

Why is it that every time I do yoga or pilates and we're doing "flexed feet" moves, my feet turn into these paralyzed, cramped raven claws?! It is slightly painful, and feels super weird when they finally relax! Do I need more potassium in my diet??

Why oh why do I continually insist on staying up until the wee hours of the morning when I have a hard time dragging myself out of bed every single day anyway?

Why is it that I think I'm so darn funny and am usually the first *slash* only one to laugh at my own jokes....often?