Ok, I've said it before and I'll say it again...I fancy myself a pretty positive person. I hate being around negative people and those who complain all the time, and I vow not to be one of those people, so I tend to keep to myself and put on a happy face even when I'm deteriorating inside. That may sound a little dramatic, but I'm just going to come out and say that I'm going through one of those uncomfortable-growth phase-trial period-ruts that we all encounter for various reasons, and I cannot for the life of me pull out of it. Fake it 'til you make it, right? Wrong! I'm running out of ideas here! I'm magnifying my calling, saying my prayers, reading my scriptures, going to my meetings and church, attending the temple weekly, trying to serve others more...what am I missing? Is it just a flat out attitude change that I need?? Is this one of those trials that I just have to get through?? Help me out!We were in Rexburg this weekend for Matt's graduation, so we did a session at the new temple Saturday morning. It was beautiful! As we were sitting in the Celestial room I was reading 2 Nephi chapter 4. I usually just read verses 19-21 because they're some of my favorites, but I read the whole chapter this time and it has the most amazing prayer in it. Verses 30-35 basically ask Heavenly Father to lift all burdens, clear the path, and remove all obstacles. Yes, please! Where do I sign up?
Here's what has been perplexing my mind for the past few days though; how can you feel worthy to ask for all of that? How do you know you're doing enough? After all the Lord has done for us, all the sacrifices He has already made, how do we feel like we can just ask him to lift our burdens? I mean, I'm sure it's about trusting in the Lord, having faith, and knowing that He loves us and wants to do it. That's easy to say. But still, how do we know we're doing enough and we can ask Him to do that? Aren't we supposed to suffer a little to learn? Is it about being humble and not thinking we have to do it all on our own? I would love to kneel down and ask for my burdens to be lifted and my life to be easy, but that just doesn't seem fair to me. I guess I feel like we just have to muscle through what we're given and do our best to overcome it, by continuing to do the things we should. Am I making this harder than it should be?!
3 comments:
You are such a great girl!!! I love your thoughts--you remind me so much of myself. Just remember, you are a child of God and He has promised you blessings from Heaven. You are commanded to RECEIVE them. I don't know if that makes sense, but just continue what you are doing, and in the Lord's time (dang it...) you will see what the Lord has given you and have even more in store. You are deserving of so much. I really want you to be the happiest! Come visit me. LOVE!
As I read your post today I realized how bad of a friend I have been. Even though I am not around too much know that I am ALWAYS here for you. Anything you need I am at your beckon call. Also, I know what you mean about not feeling worthy to ask for trials to be taken away. When I get to those points in life I realize that I can't do it alone. That is what I tell the Lord. "I'm exhausted. I can't do this alone, will you help me?" It took me a long time to let go of my pride and the idea that I could solve my problems on my own. It isn't the easiest thing to be humble enough to cast your problems on the Lord but He is there and He knows what we can handle and He knows what to do to make us feel better. I love you.
you are amazing meliss! i love your blog and that you are always striving to be better and do better, and you are an example to me for sures :) i don't know a whole lot, but i think that us being humble and asking for help or for our burdens to be lifted is us taking advantage of what's already happened - the atonement. i mean....He's already suffered for us, so i think that it's ok for us to let Him carry us (insert footprints poem reference) as we trudge through the sands of life. He wants to carry our burdens, and i think our best payment for what He's done for us is gratitude and service and keeping the commandments - all of which you are doing as best you can!
i don't know if that really makes sense, but it's what came to my mind anyway :) you're awesome, and i hope the rut is over soon for you chickee!
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